Facing My Greatest Fear: The Need to Perform

Shattered and tattered, here I am, facing off with my greatest fear: the opinions of other people, the ways of this world, the overwhelming positions of hive minds and social in-groups which I rarely, if ever, fit into — the expectation to conform and fit into a mold, the need to perform. How does one effectively carve one’s path in this world? How does one blaze his or her own trail in the face of mass consciousness that doesn’t align with one’s soul vibration? Is it really as easy as finding those who resonate? How does one find his or her audience?

The Test

I’m going through a serious period of inner reflection and self-healing. I’m facing off with childhood traumas and learning to navigate the world with a reset of my vibration — a renewed sense of self that is in alignment with who I truly am. The trouble I face is the terrible tremors that come with facing a world filled with judgement, vitriol, ridicule, and flat our narrow-mindedness.

I sat here at my desk prepared to seek out new opportunities to use my writing talents, education, and deep work in spiritual development and consciousness evolution to illuminate humanity. I went to a website that I knew paid well and had a space for caregiving. The plan was to start small — start with something very personal and familiar to me so I can stretch my legs and…